(Before we start, we're doing to do something we've done before, and that is to "Spot The Mistake" since today is April Fools' Day as of this writing. Here's your assignment. Spot what mistakes I put in by going to our group FB Page or the comments section of my blog. Got that? Then let's get to it.)
VO: This is GSN The Know. The most depressed and unheard of blog in southeast Asia. Now, from teh basement of Shira Lazar's house, here is the man about Star Wars & Disney, Pierre Jason Kelly!
Me: And I'm here. Welcome. Let's start with....
The Finish Line.
In 1991, the guys behind "Fun House" came up with an idea about shopping. Inspired by going to local malls in California, the show happened to end up on the Lifetime channel next to Supermarket Sweep. That show: Shop 'Til You Drop.
This week, it aired on GSN at 9 CDT and many of you while I was in my cubicle asked me why is it a classic? Well.....
We are in an age of why every 90's program is classic on cable. It's been 24 years since it first went on the air and teh Pat Finn version is what every fan envisions of. Needless to say, the 1997 version is now airing, but the PAX version killed a whole lot of people. The reason why its a classic is because of knowlegde of pop culture & shopping, plus how the bonus round works that way. So with Shop being a classic, will SuperMarket Sweep be here soon before you know it?
Hang on, because after this, we look at GSN in Spring. That's on the way, but first....
(song fades out)
Are you tired of going out to the same restaurant thinking to yourself...
"Jeez, I need a restaurant that's family-friendly?"
Well, I have the thing for you.
Introducing "Paula's Place."
"Wait, what's Paula's Place?"
I'm glad you asked. Named after the actress who played Wendy Darling in "The New Adventures of Peter & Wendy," this place is geek-centered and Disney-conscious......oh, and she's the owner, too.
Yes, but only if you know the password to her manager's door.
"Oh man...well, what about the food?"
Well, there's pizzas, burgers, chilli dogs, french fries, all American. They're all served by your waiter or waitress or "Soda-Tender," while ordering the food on your custom-made tablet. Plus, shakes & malts, too. And drink specials 1/2 off during "Slap Hapy Hour" from 2-5 CDT. And there's no alcohol! None whatsoever!
"Awesome! That's my Place! Anything else?"
Yes. In addition to hearing 90's music everyday, TVs show GSN and only GSN. Period. That is unless WWE Wrestlemania, The World Series, The NBA Finals, The Stanley Cup finals, The Superbowl or Miss America is on. And don't ask them to change it! The remotes are stashed away until further notice. Oh, and you get you watch the classics during breakfast hours M-F from 7-9 AM.
"Oh Cool! That's where I wanna go. What about nightly entertainment?"
Yes, there is....nightly entertainment. Monday is Musical chairs night where 1/4 of the place is cleared to have up to 10 people compete for prizes. Tuesday is Bingo night with Katrina Coleman, Wednesday is "Idiotest Night" where we'd cut off the music & hear the sound of the TVs when "Idiotest" is on, and win prizes during commercials by answering 1st-3rd grade questions. Thursday is trivia night with gift cards from 1st-3rd, Friday & Saturday is Karaoke night with parody queen Christa Nannos and all Sunday, well.......Hokey Pokey Day!
"But It's illegal to do that..."
Not with Paula's Place they don't. Every hour, on the hour when you hear this sound....
All the staff & customers will perform the hokey-pokey, and the music will also play the Ray Anthony version to accompany it.
Plus, all your favorite Konami arcade classics ranging from X-Men to The Simpsons, a League of Legends are for you to get your game on and complimentary Mounds candy bars to take home. So what are you waiting for?
"I'm Waiting for a bus to Catch!"
No, you're going to Paula's Place. Open 7-3 M-F and 8-3 weekends. At the right end of the Bill Carruthers shopping center next to Gamestop, right across the street from CVS and Applebees, 5 blocks from our GTK offices, a block away from Anomaly Podcast 91.7 and 17 blocks from my manor.
This just in...Drew Carey is forming a Plinko League. He is the owner and has signed 4 franchises: The Chicago Cliff Hangers, The Detroit Dice Game, The Boston Bonkers and the Philadelphia Punch-A-Bunch with 6 more next season. Stay by GTK next week for more.
Let's look at spring on GSN. First off, we got Idiotest tonight and you have to see what puzzles Ben Gleib came up with. Next is Lie Detectors. With MOAM out last year, the new program has followed suit to the show, but this time it'll involve a studio audience. Next up, It Takes a Church. A surprise from last year, the program continues the church dating program where it left off. But there was something missing......
At first it was pre-empted this week earlier yesterday...........
and now it's gone.
Monopoly Millionaires Club is not on GSN at all. Why did they annouce this? Scritpor will put this quote in via the FB page.
Follow up: GSN statement on Facebook after someone complained that Monopoly Millionaires' Club was not airing: "We had a schedule change. We will try to get it back on the schedule soon. Thank you for reaching out." That's officially from GSN.
Harsh. It would've been the first Monopoly game show since 1990 to air it. Why? Just Why? At least the syndication version is still there.
Now we move on to a segment in which we want to know what people think of GSN, what they don't like and the numbers of Os in the word "onomatopeia." It's......
Say where you should've sprayed.
We start with Cheryl Hayes.....
"GSN,just to let you know I pay extra for you but I have let my Sat. Co. know that as soon as BUZZR shows up in my area I will be dropping you,but, if you ruin the rest of the morning retro lineup like you did the weekend mornings putting on more garbage, I will be dropping you sooner. Time to get off here a great game show is on now on my "free" station-Price is Riight."
One GSN fan gone. Next is Margot Fisher.
"FYI. I tried to watch Shop Til you Drop twice now. I dropped right to sleep twice from boredom. This really replaced Sale of the Century. It is the most boring show ever....and it's stupid."
It was stupd for GSN to get it. Why did they do it? Judy Mallegol Cardana says....
"Nobody likes these brainless new shows. Bring back the $25,000 Pyramid!!"
I wish it would. Marc Goldberg has this:
"So. About Monopoly Millionaires Club??? What happened??? Early April Fools Day joke???"
No. It was because they didn't want lottery shows when they changed their mind. Here's Charlotte Box Lloyd:
"What happened to 'Lets Ask America"? I hated it being on at midnight but still stayed up to watch it. They have replaced it with that trash show Baggage which should be on at midnight, not earlier. Bring it back, plus: The American Bible Challenge, Dog Eat Dog, Minute to Win It. Less Family Fued - with GSN, TV Land, and other stations running it one could almost watch it 24 hours a day."
LAA is out and yes, I'm hoping for...lesser Feud. On to Wanda Logan Howard:
"Can't believe you replaced Dick Clark's Pyrimid in the mornings with a SECOND broadcast of Catch 21.... Alfonso what's his name is NOT worthy of replacing the Iconic Dick Clark! Reruns...I don't care! He belongs on GSN every single day as a reminder to watchers of what a class act is like! Also, I hate the Chase....I don't like rudeness at any level and he, whatever his name is, is the height of rudeness and conceit, NOT cute or witty by any degree! tongue emoticon"
Well, I like Chase, but Pyramid will one day return. You can believe that. Todd Lebaron has this....
"Sure do miss shows like the original Hollywood Squares, Concentration, Password, and as much as I love Steve Harvey's sense of humor, we REALLY miss the older shows with folks like Richard dawson and Ray Combs...even games like Lingo are nowhere to be found any longer. Seen the Steve Harvey Feud episodes so many times now that we can guess the answers before they're given by the families. It's getting to be like watching USA, who had so much variety years ago and now it's prctically all NCIS and Law & Order. Hasve the budgets shrtunk that much at the basic cable channels? Most of the shows we loved on TV Land have vanished too..."
Yikes. It seems we're in an era of modern stuff and anything after 1990 is okay. How about one more from Shane Schrader:
"Seriously, why did you take off the $25,000 Pyramid with Dick Clark? That was one of my favorite game shows to watch. Your channel just keeps getting worse!!! It's about time you listen to your viewers and stop with all the crappy reality game shows and the OVERKILL of Family Feud and bring back the classics!! You just lost a viewer. I'm be so glad when the new game channel premieres this year with the classics!!! ADIOS sucky GSN!!!"
Now to the 2nd bathroom break presented by swagbucks.com. Here now is The NBA D-league Tabernacle Choir.
Now to the 3rd trimester.
Time once again for.....
THE TOP 20 GSN ORIGINALS OF THE LAST 100 YEARS!!!!!
And at #13, we go to school.....
With Marc Summers. When we first saw "Wintuition," we had to answer qusetions in every grade from every aspect of school. All we did was beat 2 other opponents in a shot at $50,000 for tuition money. Most of the time, players went for themselves rather than for someone else. Why? They needed money to go to school, hence the title. But with this 1-season wonder, Wintuition graduates at....
A baker's dozen.
That's it. Today's blog is presented by Adopt A classic. Tired of watching the same old boring show. Try Adopt A classic. FOr just $5/month, you can pick your favorites from the B&E, Goodson-Todman, Bob Stewart or Merv Griffin library. Once it's there, it'll be on your obsolete VHS device. Cancel it at anytime. For more info, check your GSN FB page and tell them which classic you need to adopt.
Don't forget to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com, Pierre Jason Kelly on FB and @Johnny_Arcade on twitter, my state ID number and my library card number. Until then, play on Siberia.