VO: Live from the Lunar Rover Pizza & Root Beer Emporium, it's.....
And by the hot new webseries....
And the guy that makes it all happen, 3x Extreme Dodgeball waterboy of the year, the right angle in a 3's a Crowd trio, the only man who won't get out of a Trivia Trap, the man about many many games, Pierre........Jason........................KELLY!!!!!!
(cheers and applause, ovation from the crowd)
Me: Hey everyone! Wow! Can I stop the music now?
(song stops; silence)
Okay. Welcome everyone to the 4th annual GTK Know-It-All Awards, we got a great show for you tonight. We got all the nominees there, Lindsey Stirling and her Orchestra and yet another sold out crowd at the emporium. If I could have a but of applause there....
Thanks everyone, glad you got here early for this stunning night honoring GSN in 2015, because if you got here on time or late, it'd be hard to find a parking spot anywhere, because it shut down the place, including Ruprecht's supermarket and the shopping center right across from it. In fact, What's Trending, Clevver News, Hollyscoop and any other Youtube news show you can think of is covering the event. Livestream by Ustream is up and already running. They did the Geekies this year, and they're doing us too, so welcome, nice to be in this place and with a sold out crowd, I don't see any flies in the studio, do you John Mate & Pat Cowell?
No....okay, then. Uh, the twins from Hellevator, which one of you had the better hairstyle?
Oh, good, glad to hear that. And I'm glad to hear we're here for you starting with the first award of the night as we always do. It's hard to get up in the morning and go to work, but with GSN on your TV, it'll make it easy for you. The nominees are:
(cue dark room with a flashlight, runs to find something scary, but finds a phone playing the "Match Game" theme song; cue "Best Classic" as the phone is reached and unlocks to find clips)
(gets a text message that says" Best Classic" by 7 AM; fade to host)
And the best Classic should be or happens to be that of...
(opens lootcrate to find winner)
Sale of the Century!
VO: Accepting the award, Summer Bartholemew!
(applause; song stops)
Summer: Thank you so much. I wanted to do this for Jim Perry who passed away recently. I wanted to accept this award in his memey. Thank you very much.
Me: Now our first act may be something they spent too much time reading or internet or whatever...but we call them......The Library Bards!
And we kick the year off with January....
Baggage took the famous dating game on the road and we started an all-time originals countdown. Moving on to February....
BOTR took a nasty fall and shorties were honored.
But now we get to another award. Sometimes at GSN there are things that don't work and these nominees figure it out. Here, have a look.
(cut to security room; see flashing light on the left door; raise screen to "Best WTH? Moment?"; cye screens)
(cut back to security door and opens us to find a light-up doll that reads "Best WTH? Moment"; face back to host)
And the winner goes to....
(opens Lootcrate for winner)
$ale And Pyramid get kicked off the air!
(short fanfare; faint cheering)
Which brings us to March....
With Sale & Pyramid getting kicked off, many fans expressed their anger as to why about it. Also, it was the end of the road for the American Bible Challenge. To April....
Idiotest got a premiere on April Fools day and Lie Detectors started it as a daily strip, but ending up weekly due to low ratings. May is up.....
It takes a Church got the heave-ho and we revealed the new Buzzr schedule and LD is gone for good.
And please welcome to the stage, 2 fresh new faces of the music world, Jessica Lesaca and Liane.....V!
You know, GSN had a lot of new faces come in the new year and we find out who is the Best new Host. What sayeth you, nominees?
(cut to security room where a package that says "New Host" is written, package opens up and reveals a tablet that says "Best New Host")
And that new host.......(opens Lootcrate for winner) Psycho Mike Catherwood!
(CR 2015 theme plays; applause)
Mike: Wow. Can't believe I won an award. It was better than DWTS when I had only one dance....
Anyways, I want to thank my wife, Dr. Drew, my loveline partner and everybody else who helped me watch Chain Reaction get off the ground. Thanks, good night.
Me: We've got 2 categories left, so let's start with a performance and then, some business to take care of. When she's not dancing, she likes to do ASMR. Well, she's here to bring the noise. Please give it up for JellyBean Nose herself, Heather Vaughn!
Let's continue with our 2nd B&E Lifetime Acheviement award for Excellence. In 1976.....
(lights turn out; cue film)
Lasting until 1985 and hosted by Richard Dawson, the show set the trend for a classic.
By 1988, Ray Combs became the new host of the show and until 1994.....
Dawson returned...but just for 1 season.
Still, Feud pressed on. By 1999, it started with Louie Anderson, and then Richard Karn by 2002.....
And John O'Hurley by 2006.
But by 2010, everything changed.......
Steve Harvey took over the reins and this past year, it did something in the last 30 years....take out Wheel of Fortune for the top spot. It is my honor to join Family Feud along with Match Game as the 2015 B&E lifetime achievement recipient for game show excellence.
(applause; bit of ovation from the crowd in the back)
(Pierre raises banner to the ceiling; song stops)
Thanks Lindsey for some assistance. Right now, she has more voices than any voiceover artist can withstand. That means you, Rob Paulsen!
Known as Anna Brisbin, she's......Brizzy Voices!
back in January, we started an all-originals countdown and now it's down to 2.
First, The Chase....
Based on a british import from ITV, contestants answer trivia questions to earn money and take on Mark Labett alias The Beast for a lot of cash before he gets caught. The other:
Lingo. For close to 6 seasons and 1 with Engvall, Contestants spelled 5-letter words for cash prizes. Now, there is only one. Which is the better original?
But before I tell you the winner, let me have somebody do a Halloween dance to a popular Justin Bieber hit. Here he is.....Stuart Edge!
And with that, it's all over but the crying. However, I'm crying tears of joy, because 2015 for us is over. I wanna thank the people in the newsroom, Paula Rhodes for letting me inspire my blog when she hosts What's Trending, my mom & sister, the fans who like GSN and some that dislike it, Buzzr for finally giving us a voice on TV, and the man upstairs for blessing me. I guess that's about it, but we always break for 2 weeks to rest up for the holiday season and we'll return for our 4th fantastic year on the air. Until January of 2016.................................
Play on playas. Christa, hit up the confetti app!
(Christa hits the confetti button and the balloons drop to go with a confetti monsoon)