Thursday, December 19, 2013

The 2nd annual GTK Know-It-All Awards

VO: Live from the Lunar Rover Pizza & Root Beer Emporium, it's.....


A celebration and a look back at the year GSN made history. With appearances yet to be seen by....
With musical appearances by....
This program is presented by...
(song stops: current plinko intro)
Now, the man who drops in from the drop zone, Miss Pickwick's next door neighbor, the guy who thought National Lampoon's Funny Money is real, Pierre.....................Jason......................Kelly!
(applause) guys were awesome than last year. (song stops) Thanks to Lindsey Stirling and the Grimsborough Symphony......1/8 of it....(audience laughter) Welcome to our 2nd ever Know-it-All Awards. I'm your host Pierre Kelly, give it up for yourselves, people.
This, boys & girls is a look back at 2013 in a nutshell. Wow, a big turnout at the Lunar Rover Emporium, give it up for yourselves again....
Can't believe it's so many people in one big room, uh....G-Stone Motors. Nice to see your family. Did you bring your pigs in, too?
(audience laughter)
Oh, you didn't. Good for you. Uh, who else, Wagner Warriors, this year's Bible Challenge champions. I thought the name was Wagner was supposed to be opera. Is this the European Opera Challenge?
(audience laughter)
What else do we have here? The girl that says "we Gon' Play, Steve" in a commercial. Came to play, huh?
(light laughter)
Well, whoever else, we didn't come to play, we came to give some golden brain trophies to the best GSN had to offer in 2013. Let's kick it off with Best Classic. Without them, they'll be an eyesore to the network. Thanks to these nominees, they're the reason why you should watch. Can we see it, please?
(Cut to Enchanted Forest slots; Witch throws flies at Esmeralda and gets stung by wasps)
(scroll opens to BEST CLASSIC)
MATCH GAME (Goodson-todman/Fremantle Media)
BLOCKBUSTERS (Goodson-Todman/Fremantle Media)
$ALE OF THE CENTURY (Reg Grundy Productions/Fremantle Media)
PRESS YOUR LUCK (Carruthers Company/Fremantle Media)
PASSWORD PLUS (Goodson-Todman/Fremantle Media)
SUPER PASSWORD (Goodson-Todman/Fremantle Media)
(cue a fairy waving a wand to "Best Classic"; fade to host)
And the Classic is.........(gets Instant Cash box; opens up the box......and gets the winner)

(turns echo on) Sale....Of the century! (turns echo off)
VO: Accepting the award, Summer Bartolemew, hostess of the program.
(song stops)
Summer: Can't believe it. First award in over 20 years, and I would like to thank the staff that put the whole thing together and I wanted it to sell for $5, but at a later date. Thanks, very much.
(audience laughter & applause)
Me: Alright, looking at January......
Rodney Acala who was a contestant on "The Dating Game" got 25 in the clink, Baggage replaces Improv-A-Ganza on Fridays and Kirk Franklin decided to join Bible as it's co-host. The Yay & Yawn was even added to the mix. As for February.....
The New MTWI would return for a later date, then we unveiled the new teams for Bible and Steve Harvey made Parade magazine. Meanwhile, Monty Hall & Bob Stewart were called to get lifetime acheievment awards at the daytime Emmys this year. Richard Karn did a play in Canada and Rock Center on NBC ran a story on Bible. As for music, ladies first. Hailing from Michigan, they're twin sisters with rock in their blood. Doing their new smash hit single, Megan & Liz everyone.
And we keep going with moments that wished you scratched your head and thought "WTH?" Yep, the moments that want to forget. Nominees, if you will.....
(cut to Auora Dreams slots; snow leopard throws snowballs at Yeti and a big one to split the yeti into 10 and the Yeti gets crushed; icicle opens up to "Best WTH Moment")
FAMILY Trade.....
The hosting of Apolo Anton Ohno.....
The enitre Friday night lineup.....
(cut to penguin on skis running into "Best WTH? Moment" tree; fade into host)
Ouch. And the winner is........(opens postcard) It is Family Trade.
(theme plays; lighter applause)
VO: Accepting the award, Garter Stone of G-Stone Motors. 
Garter: Not only do I get ot accept this award, but I'll trade it in for a scooter. Thank you very much.
(lighter applause)
Me: Okay, on to another musical guest. 2 grads from Texas Tech University made music while in school in their dorms and decided to make it big......well, almost. It's the tag team of Michael Henry and Justin Robinett. Boys?
Man, that was loud. On to Spring...

March rolls around and Family Trade made its debut along with Jeff Foxworthy getting the nod to host a baking competition. Harvey's Feud on the network reached 1 year and Apolo Anton Ohno took part in hosting the new Minute. But....
As April rolled around, $ale made its debut and Family Trade was gone. Soon after, the new shows were to make its debut on the network and Bible lost its top position to #2 in the ratings in one week. With Sherriwed coming to an end....
May came in and Mike Richards tries his hand at podcasting, and "Game SHow Moments Gone Bananas" took the realms of primetime ervy Monday. This would end the 4-period era for our blog and we get another award to hand out.
(song stops)
Acquisions. The deals you make are the deals that make viewers insane. Let's look at them.
(cut to Farmville Slots; sheep throws fertizlieer at the farmer and gets blinded by gerowing beanstalks and a scarecrow; fence reveals "best Acqusition")
SHOP 'TIL YOU DROP (Stone-Stanley Productions)
1 vs. 100 (Endemol Entertainment)
LOVE TRIANGLE (3Ball Productions)
SALE OF THE CENTURY (Reg Grundy Productions/Fremantle Media)
(cut to jester cow holding  a"Best Acquisition" sign; fade to host)
ANd the acqusition......(opens envelope)  goes to Shop 'Til You Drop!
(College Mad House Theme Plays)
VO: Accepting the award, the show's best known host, Pat Finn!
(song stops)
Pat: It's great to see my friends here remember the way the mall used to be and it's great to have this award because it made me feel that I wish JD Roberto would get it, but on a differnet network. Goodbye, my firends.
(audience laughter & applause)
Okay, on to some more awards given out earlier at the Fast Money Mart.
The award for....."Just stop it!" went to Apolo Anton Ohno saying "every....Second....counts." Do the words enough.....already ring a bell?
The award for "Teacher's Pet" went to Mark Labett aka The Beast. Even in the UK, he is still smart.
The award for "Animal Instincts" went to the pigs from Family Trade. They're the reason why some people wanted to tune in, but they tuned out.
The award for "Mute It!" went to the "We Gon' Play, Steve" ad. Don't you wish you watched something else?
And finally, the #You'reIt award went to #FAITHFULFANS. They made want the American Bible Challenge is All about. Now on to another performer. She used to crash the Super Bowl a long time ago, now she crashes the internet. It's Kina Grannis, everyone.
And we move on to summertime.
We ushered in the new 3-period era and Bible gets pushed back to netx year. With FT finally gone, we debuted a new Overtime blog post.
Then in July, New shows were added to the "must watch" list and Kelly Goode took a job to ABC Family.
August kicked it off with The Chase off to a record start and TABC turning 1 year old.
(song stops)
ANd now, please give it up for the only girl who can mashup a bunch of songs at the same time. It's Savannah Outen!
Now on to Best Host. Why Best host? I don't know. But you'll see some names once you see the nominees.
(cut to Pet Park slots; Dog throw bones at dog catcher, but catcher dodges them and dog shows a picture of Cindy Crawford and dog catcher pants on it; blanket reveals "Best Host")
JEFF FOXWORTHY (The American Bible Challenge)
(Cut to a dog panting over a "Best Host" bowl; fade to host)
And the host of 2013.....(opens envelope)  Jeff Foxworthy!
(TABC Theme plays)
VO: This is Jeff's 2nd consecutive award of the year. His hosting duties included "fifth Grader" and "the American Baking Competition"
Jeff: Wow, I can't believe I got 2 in a row for this award. But I would like to thank Kirk Franklin for giving him the opportunity to work with him as musical co-host, all the staff of Bible who made us put this hit show together. Thank you all and we'll see you next year.
Me: Now a group of girls who originally used to call themselves "Sixth Sense," but one couldn't handle the pressures of touring and decided to call themselves......Fifth Harmony.
We're almost done with the ceremony, so we're closing in on fall season.
September rolled aorund with Fifth Grader was gone, with Skin Wars getting the go-ahead, pepole clamored about it and Harvey Feud took a short afternoon outing. Deray Davis got the nod for "Mind of A Man" and the calendar flipped to....
OCtober. Todd Newton of Whammy! released a book while MTWI's run continued to burn off. Even a Whammy! halloween special aired for the first time in almost a decade.
November came and 1. vs. 100 returned to the network. Feud came on Turkey day as well as Black Friday, every version of it, but Syndie Sale kicked off the latter day. and this month, The Chase's new season had another ratings record. Now comes the part where we say good bye to people who are gone too soon.....
Thank you. Now we get the last award of the night. It's the show to end all shows. The program everyone can't stop watching. It's Best show of 2013. Here are the nominees.
(Cut to Treasure of Anubis slots; a mummy throws snakes at anubis and gets snakebit and an ambulance sends him to the hospital; heriogylphic reads "best Show")
THE CHASE (ITV Studios America)
THE AMERICAN BIBLE CHALLENGE (Embassy Row/RelativelyReal/Sony Pictures Television)
MINUTE TO WIN IT (Friday TV/Shine America)
 (cut to mummy revealing "Best Show"; fade into host)
And the show america watches is....................(opens envelope)  THE CHASE!!!!
(Uk Chase Theme Plays)
VO: Accepting the award, Mark Labett.
Mark: Thank you very much, I would like to thank Brooke Burns and a great staff, because this goldne brain not only means its a status symbol for me, but it proves that I am still smarter than you. Thank you very much.
One more performance before we get out of here. He's a black nerd and he's............Andre Meadows singing about his Wii. Take us out, ANdre!
And it's a wrap. 2013 for us is in the books, but we'll be off until next year for 2 weeks to give you a new year and new shows to make GSN your game show home. I'm Pierre Kelly, play on playas!
(pulls cord to reveal confetti thunderstorm)

Monday, December 16, 2013

Coming Attractions!!!

On the Next GSN The Know....

It's the big one. The GTK Know-It-All Awards. We'll give out golden brains and look back at the year at was for GSN, plus musical performances.

Join us for a very special GSN The Know. Cip-on tie included.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Losing Con-Troll

(All you people out there know that Christmas shopping is a few weeks away, so get to Hobby Lobby for a picture frame, yarn, candy or whatever. There's a Hobby Lobby right near you and it's closed on Sundays, too.)

VO: This is GSN The Know. The most informed and entertained blog in the United States of America. Now, from the WIlton-North building, here is the man about games, Pierre Kelly.

Me: Another day, another way to make everyone tell about GSN as we are a week away from the Know-It-All Awards. Everyone is preparing for the event, but we have to have another week of GSn info for your brain and Hilty is here to give you the cost of ratings for.....none. Here you go.

Family Feud must've had a field week when it took 1-2 and Chain Reaction went in 3rd. With The Pyramid in 4th, more CR went from 5-7, but a New Chase and Feud were tied for 8th with the latter rounding it out. Where's our bottom 10?
Shop "til You Drop's arrival felt like a ghost mall as it kicked off the bottom 10, then after Baggage, 2012 Pyramid was sandwiched between newcomer Blockbusters, Baggage and Minute. A trio of Baggage shows followed and Password Plus rounded out the list. As for the viewers:

This week: 320,000/251,000
Last week: 344,000/275,000
Prime TIme went down a bit by 24K viewers, but the whole day went down slight as well. That's the first period, Hilty will now cash out.

After the break, Holiday marathons, game show confessions and trolling. This is going to be one big week, so don't touch that remote.

(song fades out)

(quick fade out)

Returning to the island of misfit game shows and the network is prepared for a holiday party. With that, we check.....

The Facebook Files.
They want to know which game show would they play. I responded with Trivia Trap, since it'll turn 30 next year, but Cory Anotado, a former contestant on the first season of Chase chimed in with Supermarket Sweep. Something GSN will definitely get. Dino Alaxander wants the current canadian run of "match Game," but that's on another network. Maybe Sandy Kline Barron has the answer....

"Well, duh! If you'd like to be a blessing and be blessed, there's only one answer .... The American Bible Challenge of course. God bless you, and enjoy your Christmas Party."

See there?

(song fades out)

As far as holiday marathons are concerned, DOND will return to the network for Christmas Eve for 10 hours. As for Christmas day........nothing. Everything is normal as is from 8-1 EST. However, Game show Moments gone Bananas and The Chase will run all day the remainder of it. Really? SOmebody please send in GSNN Blogspot page's resident fan....

The Mystery Green Ball. Mystery green ball, What do you think of those marathons?

"I'll admit I was not expecting this, apparently GSN has had the rights to Game Show Moments Gone Bananas since April-May, but with only 5 episodes I can see why they haven't aired it since June.

Well, so much for a Press Your Luck 30th Anniversary marathon. There's still a possibility that it could occur on New Years Eve, but I think a Pyramid 40th Anniversary marathon would make more sense for that day. Though I'm not gonna get my hopes up for either one of them."

That would've made a lot more sense and added more viewers to the network, but there is hope. Thanks, Mystery Green Ball.

(song stops)

And J-Spizzle switches up a track to a monthly segemnt we call....

The GSN closet. More sayings from people who know a lot about GSN via the Game Show Confessions tumblr page.

This slipped my mind too for some reason. Otherwise I would looked for a submission like this and posted it Sunday night. :/

(song fades out)

Alright, enough of that, we move into the 2nd intermission presented by Best known for being her alter-ego Miranda Sings, Colleen Ballinger has a holiday serenade for you guys.

And with that, we go to the 3rd period.

I have pepole who are fans of GSN, but one fan of GSN in particular isn't. His name is Troy Marshall Dillon and one day, this incident happened. WHile we talked about the Best Show of 2013, Troy came in all guns a blazing, but instead, he went water guns a hosing. All he did was call a Know-It-All a name I don't want to talk about and curses somewhat and likes the fact that Family Trade wants to take Best In Show. I didn't know what to do, So I had told him to smarten up and calm down, but all he did was keep on going. What did I do? I remove him from the group right then & there. And now he's gone forever & ever. has a few trolls, but I had one and no more. Let's hope there won't be any more trolls to my page.

And that's the end, before we go, I would like to kmnow that Family Trade is out of the running for next week's awards, but everything else is a go and we'll have musical guests, a look back at 2013 and who'll win these Golden Brains. Ask your friends to be part of this event next week.

Don't forget to email me at,, Pierre Jason Kelly on FB and @Johnny_Arcade on twitter. We'll see you later and play on, playas.


Saturday, December 7, 2013

COming Attractions!!!!

On the next GSN The Know....

-We'll go straight down the corncob pipe with ratings....
-Button up news stories
-And fire the coal with a trolling expericence I had on my Fb group page.

Join us for GSN The Know....before I melt away.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013


(held over for the 2nd straight month, Hobby Lobby. No, they don't sell Egg Nog, but they do sell holiday stuff. Cyber Monday has come and gone, but make it an everyday thing by going to

VO: This is GSN The Know. The most informed and entertained blog in the United States of America. Now, from the WIlton-North building, here is the man about games, Pierre Kelly.

Me: It must be me and we're ready to roll here. GSN turns 19 years old this year and I understand 20 will be the magic number next year when we get there. But we have to survive another year of the network for games starting with the ratings. Hilty, make me a monster.

Back to ratings business after a week off and Feud came in 9 slots with Chain Reaction parting in between at the 6 spot.  Now the tower that got crashed.
2 Baggage shows was parted in between Match Game and after Feud and Baggage, a late night airing of "the Chase" came in making Chase come to the bottom 10 for the firts time ever and Match Game, Passowrd Plus and DED rounded the set out. As for the watchers.....

This week: 325,000/271,000
Last week: 275,000/249,000
Prime time shot back up 300k while the whole day went over 250k. That's the first period. Swpie out, Hilty!
Helga the Opera Viking texted me, but you know what they say, it isn't over until the fat lady sings, so let's break out before she gets here with news and a moment to live by. All after this.

(song fades out)

(quick fade out)

Back again and Bible is getting pushed back.....

to Summer? Well, according to a rep of its host, the show was taping and is in fact for this month. That kinda sucks, isn't it?

As for Bill Engvall, he ended up in 4th place on DWTS when he went into the finale. The victor: Amber Riley of Glee fame. I wonder why Bill got himself back into the business after 2011 Lingo went off the air?


One family Feud wrinkle is inducted into Game SHow Garbage this week, so you need to go check it out. Right now, we enter the 2nd intermission presented by This week, It's the O'Jays and this hit.....

And now the 3rd period.
With GSN turning 19, Legendary game show host Bob Barker turns 90 this year. He's the subject of "A Moment To Live By." Here's him at work back in the early 80's.


Time to quit. Don't forget the GTK Know-It-All Awards will be in 2 weeks from now.
Don't forget to email me at,, Pierre Jason Kelly on FB and @Johnny_Arcade on twitter. We'll see you later and play on, playas.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Thanks, but No Thanks!


(The last week of November means adios to Hobby Lobby. You've got Black Friday coming up so head to to avoid bigger crowd and bigger worries. But before you try & survive, see if you can survive this!)

VO: This is GSN The Know. The most informed and entertained blog in the United States of America. Now, from the WIlton-North building, here is the man about games, Pierre Kelly.

Me: Hope you said grace, because you're getting your coupe de grace from GSN as we give you another blog for the week. Hilty had to go travel somewhere to take care of its family, so no ratings this week, but it's the last week of November, so here's your Yay & Yawn of the month.

The Yay: The Chase is back. Back where it belongs and back to where it all started from.

The Yawn: This week's Black Friday marathon post-morning. Is 12 hours of Harvey enough for you?

So let's take a quick break and come back with Mind of a Man news stories, plus something to be thankful for. All after this.

(song fades out)

(quick fade out)

Oh sorry, I was just putting in an application to work PT at the Butterball hotline, but we're back wiht more GSN stuff. While you were preparing to find food in the grocery store, and dialing your peeps up to come to dinner....

Saturdays, starting November 23rd
*The Chase gets the 8pm slot; replacing Dog Eat Dog (The Chase double-run 8-10pm)

Sundays, starting November 24th

*Steve Harvey's Family Feud at 6pm; replacing Minute to Win It (Ohno)
*The Newlywed Game (Shepherd) from 7pm to 11:30pm; replacing The Chase, 1 vs 100and Minute to Win It
*The Chase at 11:30pm; replacing The Newlywed Game
*1 vs 100 (Saget) at 12:30am; replacing Steve Harvey's Family Feud
*Love Triangle at 1:30am; replacing The $100,000 Pyramid

We had some weekend changes just in time for Turkey Week. And LT gets an extra slot replacing a classic.

Bible will also have a mini marathon next month, but a source tells me a premiere date is yet to be determined early of next year. Keep your fingers crossed on that.

Mind of a Man will also come next year and Alonzo Bodden and Sydney Castillo will be on the panel as does a rotating lineup of guests. Flasher took a photo and here's where it went.

What about the whole set?
Perfect. Now on to the 2nd inermission presented by Adam Sandler's going to tell you about Turkey Day.

The 2nd Annual GTK Know-It-All Awards is next month and we're inviting you to be part of the festivities. The nominees for Best Show of 2013 will be....
-The Chase
-The American Bible Challenge
-Minute To Win It
-Family Trade
 Family Trade definitely won't win, but Bible or Chase will. It may be close. Moving on to...
-Apolo Anton Ohno's hosting
-Family Trade
-The Friday Night lineup
Which do you prefer? On to.....
-Brooke Burns (The Chase)
-Jeff Foxworthy (The American Bible Challenge)
-Apolo Anton Ohno (Minute To Win It)
My Prediction: Jeff all the way, baby! Can he do it again? Next.....
-Shop 'Til You Drop
-1 vs. 100 (Saget)
-Love Triangle
Hmmmm......STYD may runaway with this one. Finally.....
-$ale of the Century
-Press Your Luck
-Super Password
-Password Plus
-Match Game
It's tough to pick one, but I need your help. Cyber Monday will be the day to pick the winners from the crowd of thousands and thousands of shows you see here. In addition, performances by Fifth Harmony, Michael Henry & Justin Robinett, Andre Meadows (Black Nerd Comedy), Savannah Outen, Kina Grannis and Megan & Liz to rock you into the new year. The 2013 GTK Know-It-All awards. Who'll rack their Golden Brains to victory?

And with that, we parade on outta here. I want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Church Day Sunday, Cyber Monday, Chase Tuesday, Blog day Wednesday, Throwback Thursday......
 Don't forget to email me at,, Pierre Jason Kelly on FB and @Johnny_Arcade on twitter. We'll see you later and play on, playas.