(theme fades out)
Thank you, and welcome to GSN The Know. My name is Pierre Kelly and this is the Preview episode of our show. I'm glad you're here. I have a cast of fictional people who'll help me behind the scenes of a fake newscast that spits out real stories. First, I'd like you to meet Christoper Parker, also known as CP3, working the boards and getting videos for our halftime segment. He's also a bowler, too. Say hello, CP3.
(CP3 waves at Pierre)
And next to him is Roxanne Simmers, otherwise known as The Real Roxanne, who get our stories and prepares them before we go ON THE AIR. Say Hi, Roxie.
(Roxie waves at Pierre)
Let's see, there's also Stina, my hairstylist, Nicole, our staff caterer, Cambot, our nice looking camera guy....
(Alicia brings out Mountain Dew Game Fuel and Combos)
Oh, I forgot, my server in braces, Alicia with the finest food I ordered. Thank you ALicia, now leave, please....
Anyways, we broadcast every single Tuesday in the Video Arcade Lounge, right across from a strip mall in the middle of nowhere on an outstretched highway in the USA. And because I'm writing what looks to be a very fake newscast like "The Daily Show," doesn't mean that every single story comes from GSN, the holy grail of game show channels. I want to know, what is GSN? WHat does it mean? How did we get here? Well, it's 1994, and a few channels were on cable and satellite was too expensive to get it, so I want you to close your eyes....unless they ask you not to at work, and come with me 17 years ago to when it all got started....you may keep your eyes open now....
Still awake yet?....well, good. 17 years later, what are we at now? Well, we got 4 classics and modern stuff. It seems to me that we have all 4 classics on rerun-abuse. Case in point, Dawson's version of Family Feud from 1980-81, Match Game from 1974, Card Sharks from 1978 and EUbanks' version in 1986, respectively, and the classic Pyramid. You know why? Because they couln't afford more money to add more episodes from what I'm told in the GSN forums, because i'll give a link to it later. Where did they spend their moolah on...
- Online gaming
- Love Triangle
- Bill Engvall's Lingo
- Drew Carey's Improv-A-Ganza
- Ratings Report. I'll start off with what's on the numbers from my robot, Malcontent. He'll give you the rap sheet on who viewed what.
- News, Notes and Andedotces. A goulash, gumbo, soup, appetizer, or whatever you call that on what the network is doing. I'll have a halftime video in between all this.
- Says What? All the opinions I'm taking from various game show websites and responding with my own and finally....
- 1-Minute Warning. My take on what's to come for the GSN network.
And what you just heard what the end-of-show cue. I've got to pay the check and leave. But before I go, please add me on FB: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pierre.j.kelly
Follow me on Twitter: @Johnny_Arcade
and my email adress: email@example.com for any questions, praise or compliments. And diring the week, I'll even go to gsn.com/forums to see what's going on. Until January 3, play on, playas!