Thursday, March 7, 2013

Coming Attractions!!!

Hi, I'm PIerre Kelly. Here at GSN The Know, I take everything in return.

-I'll trade your rubber ducks for ratings
-I'll take away your old Playstation for news stories
-I'll snatch up your old cell phone with no internet on one person's fantasy schedule
-And I'll sneak in and play burglar to your alien....whatever you have collection for what team I picked for the 2nd Bible Challenge.

That's right, here at GSN The Know, I make the cops look silly and give you all the classics in return. We're located on an outstretched highway in the middle of nowhere next to Pete's Prepaid Phone Shop and Doc's Hockey Emporium. Come on by and stop in today!

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Border Collie and the Ad Infinium March Sadness
(theme fades out)

Welcome to Springtime. And welcome to you on this blog. Now we may get the chills of last month for teh eastern half, but that's only for the week. The rest is what lies ahead for beautiful days. GSN Hasa  big month, but we got quarters to work with starting with quarter 1 and Hilty is up to use a springboard. Hilty?\

It took 22 slots to take Feud to the top. The first 5 were taken by Harvey, but let's see which 10 got crash-landed.

Password Plus kicked it off and in between a 100K Pyramid traffic jam was a sandwich between Family Feud and Baggage. Enevtually, Feud got the last 3. That's the 1st quarter. Hilty will spring out of the room right now.

Now we head into the 2nd quarter.

First, Bob Eubanks, your good friend of "Card Sharks" and "The Newlywed Game" will host your favorite GSN programs....on Sam's Town. Must be a lot of dots, isn't it?

We hit the Death Pool and say adios to Bonnie Franklin. Best known for her role on "One Day At A Time," she was seen on GSN doing many classics. She was 69 years old.

With The Pyramid still somewhere in the dumpster, the spirit came thanks to Jimmy Fallon.

However, he got lambasted by Tina Fey.,93152/

Finally, did the AV Club mention Baggage on the network. Yes, but in Youtube form. On to halftime, and a Harlem Shake contest was held somehwere bewteen the kitchen and the office area. Folks at the to-go station filled out applications and submited videos and were turned in to the newsdesk. After a week of submissions, it came down to the winner and it was.....

That was one crazy video. Enough craziness, time to get serious about out sponsor...

They give you surveys to fill out, they give you codes to have on social media, they have a blog on there, everything else on there. And the more you score, the better you get towards that prize. Press on to and buzz in for all the fun. Ok kids, on to next Monday which is the marathon of Feud. To do that, we must bring in Scriptor to transcribe the advert taken during a PYL airing at some unkown date:

"Want to see a whole lotta Feud? Watch the Steve Harvey Family Feud marathon"

And by a whole lotta Feud, it's just Steve's very first season from Orlando. One had a reaction like this:

"Wow, just completely wow right now. Can we officially rename this network:
SHFF---Stands for Steve Harvey Family Feud. Sure it does well in the ratings, but this is totally getting out of control now."

And it is out of control come Monday, but it's a one-time only thing. Melyssa56 had surgery, uh, what type was it?

"I had major abdominal surgery on that date one year. Had Harvey Feud been on then, the pain of seeing him nonstop would have distracted me from the major stomach pain following the operation. "

I get it now. Next comment....

"Hey, Steve has never once hurt the networks ratings with a marathon like this. He continually pulls in 400K-600K viewers with this kind of marathon. I don't blame them at all. BTW, do they really think putting a Family Trade rerun on at 11 and 11:30pm on Tuesday Night is going to make them any money? Replacing your number one show with a show that will probably be at the bottom of the barrel is kind of stupid.

But one request, could we please see Season 11 of Family Feud? Ratings could go through the roof. Advertise them as new to GSN episodes, and people will flock to watch them. I know I would.:

Relax, it'll come soon. Hold your horses. But.....
Does this make you feel depresssing? This comment does.

"Also worth noting: Card Sharks and Press Your Luck once again cycle back to the beginning of their respective 50-episode leases (and, in the case of PYL, the entire run) on Tuesday, March 12. Will this be the third or fourth cycle? I've lost track."

Cycle 3. Yet to get to #51. I promise. My friend David wraps it up with this....

"I completely understand their rationale (and I'm not bashing them for it), but it makes the heavy hype machine they've churned for Family Trade completely pointless. If the marathon is to brace for FT hurting the overall ratings for the week, why give so many promos (in the crunches and the commercials) for something that, before it even premieres, you have no faith in? A waste of time and money in my opinion."

See? Maybe the 4th quarter may bring sense to it.

Family Trade was supposed to be on this week, but like many anticipated video game releases, it got pushed back to the 12th the day after a Family Feud-a-thon. If you haven't seen a soon-to-be trainwreck, let me reset it for you. Garter Stone owns a car company somewhere in the country where the premise is this: Trade whatever you can for a car. If you got a SNES, would you get a scooter? If you got a dog, would you exchange that for a 10-speed bicycle? And if you owned a sodastream machine, will a golf cart be yours? Answer: no. It's just a car and that's it. Can it get any.....freaking....worse? Wait until next week and find out.

Time to hit the sack, everyone. Next week, the Family Trade show. All about the show and what people thought about it. It'll be insane next week.

Remember to get into our FB group page and tell us about it, email either or, tweet me @Johnny_Arcade, and on the GSN forums, I'm Gameheadz. See you guys later and play on, playas.