Wednesday, December 14, 2016

The 5th Annual GTK Know-It-all AWards

VO: Live from the Top Rope Entertainment Complex, it's

The 5th and Final GSN THE KNOW KNOW-IT-ALL AWARDS!!!!!!

A celebration and a look back at the year GSN made history. With appearances yet to be seen by....







and RuPAUL

With performances by.....







This program is presented by.....
Image result for cici's pizza
Image result for roku
Image result for fandango
And by....
Image result for ibotta
(song ends)

(Current TPIR Plinko cue)
And the guy that makes it all happen, the referee of the Hollywood Showdown, the man in the front of The Line, the person who holds the key to the GSN vault,  the man about many many games, Pierre........Jason........................KELLY!!!!!!
(cheers and applause, ovation from the crowd)

Me: Hey everyone!  How's it going?.....thank you.
(runs to get the air horn but the audience sits down and the music stops)
Glad I didn't want to stop abruptly, but welcome to the big finale of GSN The Know.

(audience groans)
Yeah, I know, but it's the first step away towards our Game Show Live! renovation in January.

(audience applauds)

I know they're excited for it. Another thing I need for you to clap your hands for........Robyn Cage and her big band of Cage Masters!

(applause: cut to band)

They look snazzy, don't you all?

(light applause)

I'm proud to be hosting my first award ceremony form the Top Rope Entertainment Complex.
 As you enter, It's more than just a bowling alley, it's the largest indie wrestling complex. 6 arenas in every room. Also good for receptions and parties and funerals....yes, funerals and graduation. As if that wasn't enough, we got classic arcade games from the 80's and 90's. Plus, Laser Tag Rumble. 6 on 6 team battle. Every 30 seconds, A new teammate steps in. 15-20 minutes does not start until all 12 people have entered. Plus, A Top Rope gravity course that's lots of fun. Then, unwind and enjoy the WWE network or relive USWA, CWA, World Class, Calgary Stampede, Lucha Libre Underground, G.L.O.W. and others for you to watch while you drink over 100 different beers and wines, or like me, go soft drink drunk. We got Pepsi & Coke and Root Beer, plus drink flavors. There's even some food. Enjoy the Memphis Rasslin' BBQ Pizza or the Turnbuckle Tenders. There's even the Suplex Salads. There's even a Summer Slam Smoothie Selection and even a menu for the Little Slammers. There's also DDT desserts, but there's also....get this, Body Slam Burgers. You can order the Championship Wrestling Cheeseburger, the Bam Bam Bigelow Bacon Cheeseburger and my personal favorite, the Superstar Sloppy Joe with fries as a tag team side order. There's even Crash Cards to play redemption games or arcade games in which you can redeem for wrestling gear like tables, ladders and chairs and replica belts, or tickets to WWE live events or something from the WWE SHop or the Impact Wrestling store and more, but....

(song stops)

I tried to bore you about it a bit. Let's wake up and get on with the ceremony. It all starts with a cup of coffee and a newspaper.....but GSN wants to be your partner and here are the nominees.

(cut to Ingress gameplay; captures an old house portal; "Best Classic" appears inside a yellow box on the bottom of the screen)

Press Your Luck (Carruthers Company/Fremantle Media North America)
The $25,000 Pyramid (Bob Stewart Productions/Sony Pictures Television)
Whammy! (Fremantle Media Productions)
Card Sharks (Mark goodson Productions/Fremantle Media)

(Cut back to Ingress gameplay; captures an old office building; "Best Classic" appears in a yellow box in the center of the screen; fade to host)

And the Best classic is.....

(opens Geek Fuel box with a box of antiques and gets the card with the winner)
The $25,000 Pyramid!!!!!!

VO: Accepting the award, the host of the $100,000 Pyramid, Michael Strahan.

(song stops)

Michael: Thank You. Can't believe the show I worked on got an award. That is great, but next year, I demand a primetime Emmy for that, So I want to thank the creator of it and Dick Clark. May they both rest in peace. Thank you very much.


Me: Mr. Michael Strahan, Boys & girls. Pokemon Go was the answer to Ingress for Pokemon fans and our first act must've been in on the phenomenon. By the names of Bonnie Gordon and Xander Janneret, they are known as the Library....Bards.



Let's get the year going with January....

GSN The Know was in it's 4th and Final Year and Steve Harvey was known for his Miss Universe gaffe mistake. Not only that, we introduced you to the developmental slate. On to February....

We had fun with Valentine' Day Cards and The Chase had a tragic end. By March....

It was a salute to Door 3, plus we introduced you all to the new batch of Skin Wars 3 contestants.

(song stops)

Sometimes, A cable network works this way. Other times......not so much and GSN did it worse. ANd boy, it was worse. Here, Have a look.

(cut to Ingress Gameplay; captures an enemy portal; gets hit)

ADA: You've been hit, 97% drained.

(screen goes fuzzy; "Best WTH? Moment" appears on the red box on the bottom of teh screen






(Cut back to Ingress Gameplay; uses a L8 Power Cube; knocks out an entire enemy portal with one shot)

ADA: Resonator destroyed. Good work.

("Best WTH? Moment" in the red box in the center of the screen; cut to host)

And that moment goes to......

(opens an empty Geek fuel Box to get the winner)

Well, by popular vote......It's Friday Night Frights!!!!

(short fanfare; no applause; crickets)

Okay then...............................let's just go on. On to April.

Idiotest gets welcomed on April Fools Day and Political Idiotest came...and went on this month. But by May....

Buzzr gets flipped around and upside down on the 22nd and Woolery Lingo replaced Whammy! temporarily.

(song stops)

The Broadway play Hamilton was the hottest this year and has won 11 out of a record-setting 16 Tony nominations. Our next act may have yet to see it, but has heard the soundtrack and has decided to use her God-Given talent to pay homage to the founding father. Here is the impressionist who oozes love & light is Madison Brunoehler, otherwise known as Madi2TheMax.



Madi2TheMax everyone, go catch her almost every single Tuesday on her channel and almost every Wednesday on's Agents of Marvel show. It'll be a good time. Alright, on to the next one. If Buzz Berry ever retires from Sqrambled Scuares, will the show go on with a new host?.......No. Because the show isn't the same without him, but for the nominees.......I dunno.

(cut to Ingress gameplay; finds an empty portal; hits the "Deploy Resonator" button)

ADA: Resnoator deployed, portal online. Excellent work.

("Best New Host" appears in the blue box on the bottom of the screen)



RUPAUL (Skin Wars: Fresh Paint)

(Cut back to ingress gameplay; fills all 8 resonators; "Best New Host" in the blue box appears on the center of the screen; cut to host)

And the new host goes to.....

(opens Geek Fuel box with fake easter grass and gets the winner)

Get Excited, it's Donald Faison!


VO: This is DOnald Faison's 1st Know-It-All AWard out of 2 nominations.

Donald: Wow, can't believe my show WInsanity is show interactive, but this one is helping my career a bit, SO I would like to thank God, my Family, everyone here at Winsanity and to all of you. Thank you so much.


And now, Please welcome a Chi-Town born, Oregon-raised, geeky little soul. Her name is.........Tessa Violet!



Our next award has people finding themselves wondering...."How did this get back on the air?" Here are the nominees.

(Cut to Ingress gameplay; Finds a portal and clicks on Link; shows a linkable portal and hits "confirm")

ADA: Establishing portal link......portal link established. Excellent work.

("Best New Acquistion" in the green box appears on the bottom of the screen)

WHEEL OF FORTUNE (Sony Pictures Television)

CHAIN REACTION (Sony Pictures Television)

WHAMMY! THE ALL-NEW PRESS YOUR LUCK (Fremantle Media North America)

SCARE TACTICS (NBCUniversal Television)

(cut back to Ingress Gameplay; shows another linkable portal and clicks on "Confirm.)

ADA: Establishing portal link.....portal link established....field established. Excellent work.

("Best New Acquisition in the green box appears in teh center of the screen; cut to host)'s......................

(opens Geek Fuel Box to get the winner)

Audience, it's..........

Audience: Wheel.....of.....Fortune!!!!!


VO: This is Wheel's first award. Wheel hasn't been on the airwaves in 6 years.

(song stops)

Pat: Wow, I couldn't believe I finally won an award. Thank you to Harry Freidman for being on the staff for more than 20 years and to everyone who is a Wheel Watcher, thank you for being a Wheel Watcher. Say goodbye, Vanna.

Vanna: Bye-Bye.

(laughter and applause)

And would you please welcome a group of people who worked hard to be in this ceremony. They are the Warp Zone Acapella Choir!



So good. On to June.

Winsanity hits teh airwaves and the New To Tell The Truth came too. But the ABC Sunday Night lineup came in thereafter. On to July.....

Family Feud hist the big 4-0 and Mind Of a Man returned with a social media kickstart on Twitter. But then by August.....

Hellevator announces a 4-week engagement in October and Idiotest is off to a 3-month whimper.

(song stops)

If Sarah Snitch were to take singing lessons from our next act, that's because she's a singer and a bookworm. It's her real life sister.........................Rae Sterling!!!!!


Hold your horses, we got some more. Earlier at the Fast Money Mart, we handed out more hardware than a fix-it guy.

The Award for...."Pass the remote, shorty!" goes to Friday Night Frights. It was indeed frightening.

The Award for...."Switching to Price" went to Wheel of Fortune. Thankfully it was more Wheel, but it was very recent Wheel. Guess they didn't want the classsic one, eh?

The award for...."Save it for CNN or Fox News" goes to Politicial Idiotest. Guess politics and Idiotest don't mix, eh?

The Award for...."Let's Celebrate by doing nothing!" went to Family Feud. GSN and Buzzr tried to do it, but didn't.

The AWard for "Now you see it....Now you Don't" went to Man Vs. Fly. Boring Contest....turns into an instant disappearing trick.

The Award for "Still classic Cool" went to Buzzr. Even during the changes, we can all sit down to watch old game shows.

And the final award for "Get GSN On the phone, now!" went to Sqrambled Scuares. An easy little puzzle game on Youtube where 2 combatants solve easier puzzles for some gift certificates, cash and the like. Come on GSN, make it a hit!

And now, please welcome the only East coaster who may be no blond ambition....alright fine, she is a blond ambition, it's the one & only soon to be Bonus Round Blonde Bombshell, Christa..............Nannos!


And we move on to Best Host. Yes, Best Host. is a best one. Here are the nominees.

(Cut to Ingress gameplay; hacks a portal)


("Best Host" appears in the video and rolls a reel of hosts)

BEN GLEIB (Idiotest)




MIKE CATHERWOOD (Chain Reaction)

("Best Host" in the white box appears on the center of the screen; cut to host)

Me: And the best host of 2016 is..............

(Opens Geek Fuel gold box to get the winner)

It is..........Ben Gleib!

(applause; Idiotest theme plays)

VO: This is Ben's 2nd award. Ben won "Best New Host" in 2014.

Ben: Man oh man. This is why my career is getting mroe better and better. All thanks to my podcast, the people behind my host, my comedy special and more Thank you very much.


Well then, it's almost over. Beofre we continue, the nominees for best new show was Winsanity, Window Warriors and Skin Wars: Fresh Paint. The winner went to.......................

Winsanity by a landslide!


On to Fall.

We looked inside Hellevator season 2, and leaked an episode before the premiere, And O "Hurley's Feud turned 10. By October....

1. vs. 100 hit 10 years old, Wheel came back to GSN and Winsanity decided to take a rest. Easily. By November....

Donald Trump became the new president of the United States and Wheel gets expanded to 4 airings and Mike Richards returns to GSN to become the host of Divided. Not only that, we are changing the name to Game Show Live! next month. Keep your eyes peeled on that.

(song stops)

Now we must say adios to the people who made 2016 the year of the Grim Reaper.







(song stops)

Thank you. Please greet now 4 wonderful Aussie girls who couldn't play an instrument, but make the mouth their instrument. It's.....................Ginger & Tonic.



And now....the final award. The last piece of pizza in the box. The nail in the coffin. And the nominees..........are.

(cut to Ingress Gameplay; walk around and see a smattering of resistance portals; "Best Show" in the gold box appears on the bottom of the screen)

IDIOTEST (Little Wooden Boat Productions/H2R Productions)

WINSANITY (Electus Productions)

HELLEVATOR (BlumHouse/Matador)

CHAIN REACTION (Sony Pictures Television)


(Cut back to Ingress gameplay; screen scrolls back to many portals; "Best Show" in the gold box appears in the center of the screen; cut to host)

(Opens the Geek Fuel box to get the winner and runs out for a bit....but runs back in 20 seconds)

Ladies & Gentlemen.....the show of 2016........................................Chain Reaction!

VO: Accepting the award, Mike Catherwood.

(Song stops)

Can't Believe it. Even after it's cancelled, you guys thought Winsanity and Idiotest would win, but you guys like the show so much, I hope you watch it in reruns. Thank you very much.


Me: You know what? We've had a nice award ceremony, but I want to ask Robyn Cage if she could to perform for us?

(audience gievs them encouragement)

(Robyn agrees to perform)

She says Yes! Ladies & Gentlemen, Robyn Cage!


It's the end of the show....and an era. I want to thank God, of course, my parents, Laura Bailey for voicing ADA, the fans of GSN who stuck with me the past 4 years, everybody who hated GSN right now, the hosts, the people who work on game shows, the pets and everybody else who made GSN The Know a uplifting experience. But it's not over yet. January 4th, the renovation begins. Will you be there? Until that date......I always on,playas.

(Hits a confetti app; but backs away for a but before finally pressing it to reveal a confetti overload)