Wednesday, December 16, 2015

The 4th Annual GTK Know-It-All Awards

VO: Live from the Lunar Rover Pizza & Root Beer Emporium, it's.....


A celebration and a look back at the year GSN made history. With appearances yet to be seen by....







With performances by.....






This program is presented by.....

And by the hot new webseries....

(song stops)

And the guy that makes it all happen, 3x Extreme Dodgeball waterboy of the year, the right angle in a 3's a Crowd trio, the only man who won't get out of a Trivia Trap, the man about many many games, Pierre........Jason........................KELLY!!!!!!
(cheers and applause, ovation from the crowd)

Me: Hey everyone! Wow!  Can I stop the music now?

(song stops; silence)

Okay. Welcome everyone to the 4th annual GTK Know-It-All Awards, we got a great show for you tonight. We got all the nominees there, Lindsey Stirling and her Orchestra and yet another sold out crowd at the emporium. If I could have a but of applause there....


Thanks everyone, glad you got here early for this stunning night honoring GSN in 2015, because if you got here on time or late, it'd be hard to find a parking spot anywhere, because it shut down the place, including Ruprecht's supermarket and the shopping center right across from it. In fact, What's Trending, Clevver News, Hollyscoop and any other Youtube news show you can think of is covering the event. Livestream by Ustream is up and already running. They did the Geekies this year, and they're doing us too, so welcome, nice to be in this place and with a sold out crowd, I don't see any flies in the studio, do you John Mate & Pat Cowell?

(audience laughter)

No....okay, then. Uh, the twins from Hellevator, which one of you had the better hairstyle?

(light laughter)

Oh, good, glad to hear that. And I'm glad to hear we're here for you starting with the first award of the night as we always do. It's hard to get up in the morning and go to work, but with GSN on your TV, it'll make it easy for you. The nominees are:

(cue dark room with a flashlight, runs to find something scary, but finds a phone playing the "Match Game" theme song; cue "Best Classic" as the phone is reached and unlocks to find clips)

MATCH GAME (Goodson-Todman Productions/Fremantle Media)

PRESS YOUR LUCK (Carruthers Company/Fremantle Media)

THE PYRAMIDS (Bob Stewart Productions/Sony Pictures Television)

$ALE OF THE CENTURY (Reg Grundy Productions/Fremantle Media)

CARD SHARKS (Goodson-Todman/Fremantle Media)

(gets a text message that says" Best Classic" by 7 AM; fade to host)

And the best Classic should be or happens to be that of...

(opens lootcrate to find winner)

Sale of the Century!

VO: Accepting the award, Summer Bartholemew!

(applause; song stops)

Summer: Thank you so much. I wanted to do this for Jim Perry who passed away recently. I wanted to accept this award in his memey. Thank you very much.


Me: Now our first act may be something they spent too much time reading or internet or whatever...but we call them......The Library Bards!



And we kick the year off with January....

Baggage took the famous dating game on the road and we started an all-time originals countdown. Moving on to February....

BOTR took a nasty fall and shorties were honored.

(song stops)

But now we get to another award. Sometimes at GSN there are things that don't work and these nominees figure it out. Here, have a look.

(cut to security room; see flashing light on the left door; raise screen to "Best WTH? Moment?"; cye screens)





(cut back to security door and opens us to find a light-up doll that reads "Best WTH? Moment"; face back to host)

And the winner goes to....

(opens Lootcrate for winner)

$ale And Pyramid get kicked off the air!

(short fanfare; faint cheering)

Which brings us to March....

With Sale & Pyramid getting kicked off, many fans expressed their anger as to why about it. Also, it was the end of the road for the American Bible Challenge. To April....

Idiotest got a premiere on April Fools day and Lie Detectors started it as a daily strip, but ending up weekly due to low ratings.  May is up.....

It takes a Church got the heave-ho and we revealed the new Buzzr schedule and LD is gone for good.

(song stops)

And please welcome to the stage, 2 fresh new faces of the music world, Jessica Lesaca and Liane.....V!



You know, GSN had a lot of new faces come in the new year and we find out who is the Best new Host. What sayeth you, nominees?

(cut to security room where a package that says "New Host" is written, package opens up and reveals a tablet that says "Best New Host")

MIKE CATHERWOOD (Chain Reaction)

The SOSKA SISTERS (Hellevator)

RUPAUL (Skin Wars; Fresh Paint)

ROVE McMANUS (Lie Detectors)

(plays with a tablet with "Best Host" written on the back; fade to host)

And that new host.......(opens Lootcrate for winner) Psycho Mike Catherwood!

(CR 2015 theme plays; applause)

Mike: Wow. Can't believe I won an award. It was better than DWTS when I had only one dance....

(audience laughter)

Anyways, I want to thank my wife, Dr. Drew, my loveline partner and everybody else who helped me watch Chain Reaction get off the ground. Thanks, good night.

Me: We've got 2 categories left, so let's start with a performance and then, some business to take care of. When she's not dancing, she likes to do ASMR. Well, she's here to bring the noise. Please give it up for JellyBean Nose herself, Heather Vaughn!



Let's continue with our 2nd B&E Lifetime Acheviement award for Excellence. In 1976.....

(lights turn out; cue film)

Lasting until 1985 and hosted by Richard Dawson, the show set the trend for a classic.

By 1988, Ray Combs became the new host of the show and until 1994.....

Dawson returned...but just for 1 season.

Still, Feud pressed on. By 1999, it started with Louie Anderson, and then Richard Karn by 2002.....


And John O'Hurley by 2006.

But by 2010, everything changed.......

Steve Harvey took over the reins and this past year, it did something in the last 30 years....take out Wheel of Fortune for the top spot. It is my honor to join Family Feud along with Match Game as the 2015 B&E lifetime achievement recipient for game show excellence.

(applause; bit of ovation from the crowd in the back)

(Pierre raises banner to the ceiling; song stops)

Thanks Lindsey for some assistance. Right now, she has more voices than any voiceover artist can withstand. That means you, Rob Paulsen!

(audience laughter)

Known as Anna Brisbin, she's......Brizzy Voices!



back in January, we started an all-originals countdown and now it's down to 2.

First, The Chase....

Based on a british import from ITV, contestants answer trivia questions to earn money and take on Mark Labett alias The Beast for a lot of cash before he gets caught. The other:

Lingo. For close to 6 seasons and 1 with Engvall, Contestants spelled 5-letter words for cash prizes. Now, there is only one. Which is the better original?

(song stops)

But before I tell you the winner, let me have somebody do a Halloween dance to a popular Justin Bieber hit. Here he is.....Stuart Edge!


And we're back. We must now reveal the winner. 

It was a long hard success to find out who won it, but I must now reveal the 2nd place winner based on your votes.....................and it goes to.....................................

The Chase. Which means Lingo is the cream of the GSN crop!


Yep, The Chase was a favorite in this, but Lingo due in part to Chuck Woolery and his hosting style made viewers notice it more and that's why it's at the top of the charts. On to Summer, starting with June.....

Buzzr hit the scene giving classic diehard fans what the want and STYD was gone for good putting 2 classics back on the morning map. July came....

...and Catherwood's CR came to the airwaves. But when August came.....

Idiotest turned 1-year old and Man vs. Fly was screwing up Idiotest.....big time.

(song stops)

Now join me as we say adios to these dead people.







(song stops)
Thank you. Now a Utah Native who likes to play the piano......backwards. He's going forward with a Taylor Swist medley. It's Jason Lyle Black.



And we have 2 more awards to get to still, but we got more awards we handed out at the Fast Money Mart earlier this past Saturday. 

The award for..."Great, Now I'll watch something else," went to Lie Detectors of course for it's gameplay and talent. 

The Award for...."um....What?" Goes to Man Vs. Fly. Afterlife: On the Door 3 GSN Youtube page.

The award for: Crossing Over went to Brooke Burns who crashed the Idiotest set on April Fools' Day. 

The award for...."Everything new is old again" went to the GSN logo for making it look like a Home Depot ripoff. 

And the final award that says "Okay, You win" goes to Buzzr. GSN tried to get mroe classics, but a Fremantle-owned channel poured hot coffee on GSN to prove a point.

Now we move on to Best Host. How many hosts SNL has had in the last 40 years? Quite a bunch. These nominees wished they get on SNL someday, but here they are!

(Cut to person wearing a masquerade ball mask trying to find something scary in a security room and holds a viewmaster up to reveal "Best Host" on the first slide, Viewmaster pulls slides in)

BEN GLEIB (Idiotest)



RuPAUL CHARLES (Skin Wars: Fresh Paint)

MIKE CATHERWOOD (Chain Reaction)

ROVE McMANUS (Lie Detectors)

(puts Viewmaster down and masquerqade ball mask down to throw a bone to a dog that says "Best Host"; fade to host)

And........that goes to.......

(opens Lootcrate for the winner)

Mike Catherwood!

(CR 2015 theme plays)

VO: This is Mike's 2nd award of the night. He is the only person to win Best New Host and Best Host in the same far.

(song stops)

Mike: Wow, again, 2 in a row! My wife knew they wanted me to be in Dylan Lane's shoes and I proved it to you all, so I would like to thank everyone for being here and uh......see you this month for new episodes. Goodbye everyone.


Me: And with fall season approaching....

Buzzr did a "Lost & Found" promotion and they were loved. Steampunk'd was already on the air and by October....

Steampunk'd Eddie won it all and Hellevator hit the airwaves. By November.....

Steampunk'd was outta here for good. When December came, it was a Betty White Christmas on Buzzr and GSN turned 21. 

(song stops)

Now the nominees for Best New show. Out of Chain reaction, Hellevator and Lie Detectors, the winner by unanimous decision.....Chain Reaction!


I just read what was on my card. 

(light laughter)

But now we get to the final award of the night. The sour cream in the Taco Bell nacho bellgrande, the cherry in a banana split, the anchor leg in the track meet race, the best show of 2015 and they are......

(cut to security room with a survelliance cam that reads "Best Show." Screens switch with each nominee. 









(Camera runs at 2%, then goes to black; Westminster chimes ring with "Best Host" in the center; children cheering; fade to host)


(opens Lootcrate for winner)

It's The Chase!

(Chase USA theme plays; applause)

VO: Accepting the award, Brooke Burns. This is the 3rd year in a row it won the award. 

Brooke: 3 in a row, you guys couldn't get enough of me and the Beast who is in Austraila for their version and you guys have made it a great show. I'd like to thank the staff, the writers and you guys at home. Thank you everyone.


Now let's end the blog with somebody I know and what can't a blog be without this person? Ever since March, this Bryn Mawr native turned LA transplant and Dension graduate made viewers sat up and took notice of this young lady that has a vocal belt that took us all to the bonus round. Here she is. the siren of the Speed Round, the Diva of the Daily Double, the Belle of the Buzzer, the Crooner card shark, the warbler on the Wheel of Fortune, the chanteuse of the $25,000 Pyramid.......alright, bring her out, it's that GSN Soda Girl, Christa................Nannos!


And with that, it's all over but the crying. However, I'm crying tears of joy, because 2015 for us is over. I wanna thank the people in the newsroom, Paula Rhodes for letting me inspire my blog when she hosts What's Trending, my mom & sister, the fans who like GSN and some that dislike it, Buzzr for finally giving us a voice on TV, and the man upstairs for blessing me. I guess that's about it, but we always break for 2 weeks to rest up for the holiday season and we'll return for our 4th fantastic year on the air. Until January of 2016.................................

Play on playas. Christa, hit up the confetti app!

(Christa hits the confetti button and the balloons drop to go with a confetti monsoon)

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Sneaky Peeky

The 2015 GSN The Know Know-It-All Awards

WHERE: At the Lunar Rover Root Beer and Pizza Emporium

WHEN: December 16 2015 or later.

WHO: Everyone in the world of GSN with performances by Jellybeannose, Stuart Edge, Christa Nannos and more.

WHAT'S IT ABOUT: Honoring the year GSN had done in 2015 and the announcement of best original of all-time.

Y: A letter between X and Z.

HOW? By inviting your friends and neighbors to this annual gathering.

Don't miss the year-end party!