Thursday, December 20, 2012

The 1st Annual Know-It-All Awards

From the Video Arcade Lounge in an outstretched highway in the middle of nowhere, it's....


A celebration and a look back at the year GSN made history. With appearances yet to be seen by....











With musical appearances by....








(song fades out; current plinko intro)

And the man to make it all happen, the master of the oodles, the owner of a Friend or Foe Trust box, the galloping ghost of the entire vault the network owns....Pierre.....Jason................................KELLY!


oh wow.....please....just stop it......thank you.

(theme stops)

Wow, The GSN The Know Orchestra with Christina Grimmie leading it, thank you guys for making it our theme song well-known. Welcome to the first ever Know-It-All Awards, all the staff of our blog, our robots and teh servers, to-go people, quarter munchers, hostesses, cooks and managers, plus some from the GSN family have come together to reminisce about 2012, a year that made GSN great. As this week is the end of of our blog year, 2013 will be more better....much better than it was. At the end of teh ceremony, we'll tell who is the Best Program of 2012? As we look around, I see Mike Richards. I'm glad Brandi....whomever last name is shared with a forest from the story Robin Hood is way back in the audience because you spoke about her on another show I won't mention. Perhaps GSN has heard of it years ago?

(light laughter)

Matt Rogers, how you is? WHen's your next album coming out?

(audience laughter)

And I see Jeff FOxworthy and Steve Harvey....are you guys sharing a room with Goldfish or Amy Introcaso-so?

(audience laughter)

Did I miss anybody? Oh yeah, the guy who sang like a virgin on The Pyramid. Sorry, but American Idol is next month.

(audeince laughter)

Everybody here? Then we're all good and we're ready to remember the year 2012 and hand out awards the fans spoke of. FOr that, we start with Best Classic. You know, there's nothing like waking up the morning, getting your Starbucks VIA and Pop-Tarts and hearing Gene Rayburn says blanks or figuring out what the password is, either way, it's a good thing to make GSN your mornings and the nomines are.....

(Cue Plinko slots to form Best Classic)

MATCH GAME-Goodson-Todman/Fremantle

FAMILY FEUD-Goodson-Todman/Fremantle

CARD SHARKS-Goodson-Todman/Fremantle

PRESS YOUR LUCK-Carruthers Company/Fremantle

THE PASSWORDS (Password Plus & Super Password)-Goodson-Todman/Fremantle

(Cue Best Classic rotating coin and fade into host)

And the best classic goes to.....hold on a sec.....

(turns on screen)

Yes, PYL. I'll tell you more later on, but to accept the award, here's the whammy!

(PYL FB theme plays)

(Whammy comes up and gets the goldne brain)

(theme stops)

Shortest. Acceptance speech. ever. Anyhoodles, let's pound out the winter season, shall we?

In january, yours truly created the first of many GSN-exclusive blogs to write about and give information about the network itself. Dancing With The Stars came on at that time and Carnie Wilson got a settlement from a lawsuit and that cost her $300K. While the network continued an agreement with AT&T, 5% of its staff got laid off. Then came february....

We started Sex & romance month. The first of many monthly themes this blog has brought to you. Russian Roulette became 1 of 5 of a list of weird game shows and the host of "Love Connection" himself, Chuck Woolery came by to go politicial in the process. Although a retro version of "The Pryamid" came to Jimmy Fallon, everyone was talking about DWTS on GSN, but one dancer i'm about to introduce may not have watched this. She's a founder of the Game Meets Girl network and is the star of 2 girls, 1 game. May I introduce Kristin Perez?



(Puts fire out on glowsticks)

Hope nothing like that happens in a fire hazard. Moving right along. There are worst things GSN does. Rerun abuse.....too much Feud on the schedule.....getting appointments for free.....

(audience laughter; applause)

All that kind of stuff. Here are the nominees for best "WTH?" moment....

(Cue Cliff Hangers slots to form Best "WTH?" moment)




(cue "Best WTH Moment" on a rotating coin and fade into host)

And the moment goes to.....(opens sheet) Well, believe it or not, DWTS on GSN. I'll tell you what happened as time went on, but let's all point & laugh at the 3 judges in the balcony.

(all point & laugh at judges; judges hold up "Why Me?" paddles and run off)

They're just running off. I guess. On to our next performer, she's been known for Call Of Duty, Apple Products and traveling a whole lot and now she's making an appearance at the lounge. It's iJustine herself, Justine Ezarik!



ANd we forge ahead unto springtime.

A feud switched between O'Hurley and Karn worked sorta kinda....and Power of 10 was long gone. When DWTS season arrived, Sherri Shepard came in to compete for a mirrorball trophy. The blog was moved to Monday when something drastic happened....that's right, Jeff Foxworthy became the host of the "American Bible Challenge." But when April got a shower itself....

GSN digital expanded to our nation's capital and we said hello to Hilty who gives us the ratings each week. The latter of March to be exact and DWTS went to a cemetary and died of low ratings. We said goodbye to the master of the Pyramid, Dick Clark and when Harvet's Feud arrived, we knew it would be a steamroller to ratings. Then May came in.....

The originatior of the Pyramid, Bob Stewart passed away and Donnymid became a temporary replacement for Flashback Fridays, but GSN did a pilot for a new version of teh same show. Baggage was a go for syndication and casting came for the American Bible Challenge. A bit of a morning shakeup doused the schedule and know who came to CNN to talk Bible and stuff. And our next guests are 3 sisters from London who combine harmony with's.....believe it or not, The Puppini Sisters!



And eariler, we held a mini-ceremony in the Fast Money Mart in front of the doors and we held awards to those who got a golden brain.

First, Teh award for...."Um...what?" goes to the American Bible Challenge choir. Haven't they change their clothes per taping day?

The award for...."Sorry, wrong show." goes to Mark (Rancho Cucamonga)- A furniture salesman who likes to go to a new country every year. His rendition of "like A Virgin" deducted a point because singing a clue doesn't help. His take despite all this: A donut.

The award for...."Is this thing still on?" goes to Million Dollar Password. 12 shows and still on Sautrdays? Hmm, Why would it get taken off?

The award for...."(yawn)" goes to DED. Yes, DED. 26 shows and still kickin' butt and taking notes like a waitress would.

The award for..."So she think she can dance" award goes to Shandy Underwood. Is her long-lost cousin Carrie around?

The award for..."Top Shelf" did not go to Family Feud for some obviuos reason. It went to Bible. Why? Because of the hypr surrounding it.

And finally, the award for "Best Feud Host" went a surprise margin, Ray Combs. May he RIP.

(song stops)

More music now and from the Mormon state, this violinist is more than just classical. Watch and you'll see why. It's Lindsey Stirling.



Now it's on to Best Acquistion. When a mother's belly gets bigger, a baby is born. When GSN needed something they like.....same as is....correct? Anyways, the nominees are....

(Cue Lucky Seven Slots to form Best Acquistion)

FAMILY FEUD (Harvey)-Fremantle/20th Television/Debmar-Mercury

MINUTE TO WIN IT-NBC Universal/Friday TV

ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5TH GRADER?-Mark Burnett Prods./Zoo Television/20th Television

 (cue "Best Acquistion" on a rotationg coin and fade to host)

And the acqusition of the year is.....

Yes, Family Feud, that show that mauled every ratings book every week....but we move on. Summertime in the GSN city.....

While Bible auditioned in cities across america, we said goodbye to the first host of Feud. Everyone paid tribute to it and then Mike Richards stepped out of the camera to host the new version of Pyramid. We even took a report card for the year. Next came July.....

DWTS returned with a vegance for a marathon on July 4th and Steve harvey got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. We said hello to Minute To Win It and Dog Eat Dog returned to its old home. After we revealed the Chefs for BTC, August came around....

Lots of changes came to the schedule and Bill Rafferty passed away. But the unthinkable happened. Bible posted a 1-day record for most viewers for the network. No one else can touch it. And our next musical guest hails from Russia. SHe's a circus performer turned video blogger. She is.....Olga Kay.



And we move onto fall.

The newer version of the Pyramid had arrived and with CHefs sinking, The Incredible Dog Challenge came in....

(song stops; crickets chirping)


(song resumes)

With Gangnam Style riding high, Todd Newton finally got an Emmy for his work on Family Game Night. October came.....

And yet another morning shakeup came on the network. PYL came back into the airwaves and we began the Fan of the 4th quarter series. With Pyramid ending badly, Bible finished as the man of the mountain. November came.....

And Improv-A-Bomb dropped to Fridays for its return. I even went to the Bible casting call for the first time and we celebrated Thanksgiving with teh Chefs.

And it brings us to December. I turned 30, A holiday marathon came and Everything is fine at GSN. And now a tribute to those who we lost.









(song fades out)

Thank you. Now the nominees for Host Of The Year. When you think of Tom Kennedy, Jack Narz, Geoff Edwards and Bob Eubanks, you think of hosts. These 3 have no exception. Here are the nominees.

(Cue Money Game slots to form Best Host)

JEFF FOXWORTHY-The American BIble Challenge



(cue Best Host on a rotating coin and fade to host)

And the host is.....Jeff Foxworthy by a slim margin!

(applause; Bible Theme plays)

Jeff: If you think the book of Corinthians were made of Corinthian leather, you might be a redneck.

(audience laughter)

I like to thank GSN, Embassy ROw and everyone who made the Bible Challenge a success thanks to me and season 2 is on teh way, so keep watching. Goodnight!

Pierre: Hold up, Jeff, you're also in the running for Best Show. The grandaddy of them all, so sit back in your seat.

(Jeff sits back down)

It's time for the last award of the evening. Best Show. Best in Show. Best TV show on TV. The nominees for that are....

(Cue Golden ROad slots to form best show)

THE AMERICAN BIBLE CHALENGE-Relatively Real/Embassy Row/Sony PIctures TV

BEAT THE CHEFS-Relatively Real Productions

THE PYRAMID-Embassy Row/Sony PIctures Television

(cue Best Show on a rotationg coin and fade into host)

And the last award of the whole

Well how about taht? The Pyramid!

(10,000 Pyramid theme plays)

ANd accepting the award.....this box.

It says.....Teh staff.....the host, oh, things on a TV, how about......The people.....What to thank for.

(bell ringing)

Got that right!  The last performer is paying tribute to a man who's been a world traveler. Here to tell you more about it, Kidd.....Russell!



and that about wraps up the first ever Know-It-All award ceremony. I'd like to thank myself for putting on a great show. Also, the fans of my group page, can't thank you well enough. Josie Epperson, you put a smile on my face. My mom, you were my hero since day 1 and my friends, family and everyone else. We'll be off 2 weeks, but we'll return in January with a newer year. Good night and play on, playas! Hit it Alabama Danielle!

(Confetti cannon fires)